Monday, November 19, 2012

Torn between two

I cannot even make up my mind. You told me he's not good enough for me, but it seems I'm not good enough for you. I told you, all I wanted was you. You know me better then any other. Know what to say when I get upset. You know me so well. I do not want to start over again. We cant be just be friends, because then I may not speak to you as I should. You give advice to people. But you cant use your own advice. To pass love. Is it my pass? what did I do to make you not trust me. Sometimes I feel you are playing games with me. Testing me. Like I am not worth it to you at all. Your wrong the man I date is worth it and he is good enough for me. You may not think so. But now I do not care what you think. You had your chance. There is no friends. I am a women who knows what I want. I know now you are not Him.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


I can not think clearly. Thoughts tangled in a thick web. What I have to do is what I do not want to do. It's hard
to act as if everything is alright. I know it's not. I know things that hurt, I just can't bring my self to ask or say whats really on my mind. Every time I try my heart beats 30 miles per hour, as if it's racing my thoughts. Thoughts that clutter my mind.

I've done, what was needed to be done. No need to explain my self. I all ready have, seems the message has not got through soul. Maybe misunderstood by my words I've written. I want an understanding that stands as a statement from my heart onto. I'm trying to be more positive. Lose all the things that distracts me in life. Work on
my relationship with my Bio teacher(i don't like her). Besides that, numbers don't mean a thing. Distance matters. So close any moment your face could appear, myself unaware.  Then so far I can't touch.

I hate when they say your to young to know anything. But I do know what I see. Things confuse me on the spot, I'm stuck with no reaction, just to walk away as if nothing happened. As if I haven't seen a thing. My mind dwells hard, but, my words will not spill from my mouth. Stuck with Bubble yum. Swallowing every word every period, every comma, and every breath.  Unsure of the reaction I'd get.

It's an confession I will not live to tell.......

Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday, January 13, 2012

New Year....New Me!!!

Well it's  friday the 13th , my day was some what bad but yu know how things lightn up... I let go of a lot of things... Things that could hold me back...People ..Friends...Lovers..I'm solo...This is my year...Lord knows how much I want it...Just gotta keep my ass in school for the next five months...Summer time and I gotta car best believe work is on my mind...Soon as I this car I'm goin hard.....In the mean time I'm goin hard for FAST$CASHent. I put my blood sweat and tears into my music just to let it be known...I put my all in the album covers and posters theres no stopn me now...Fuck a man I can do this along with my crew,myself, my own... sincerely, CTB fast$cashbitch