Trapped In Hell

Hell is not nonstop pain or eating cactus's, with boiling water to wash it down. No hell is not below  this surface that we walk on. But we walk in hell. We live in hell. Some suffer some die. Some get so hooked to the demons creations that they lose track of life and chase what is desired. Hell is trapped in a basement with no water but the rain water from the floor. Neglect, trapped in a cage, no food to eat. Hot long days with no shade, flies eating at the skin and bones. Trouble that rumbles the night. Trapped in a cage with out a bathroom about to explode some thing nasty. Hell is this government, and what it calms to be. Hell is being slaved or used like consent energy. Hell brings out the best and worst. Freak shows that walk among the earth. Hate is so strong it can take over one mine.  Hell is when a guy thinks he loves a women; then thinks he owns her. Like property of a home he wants her to dress and act the way he wants her to. Slave in a kitchen and keep the house clean. If she may refuse there may be issues. Or hell can turn around and bite in the rear. She may lie and cheat to get him trapped with the seed he may or may not have planted. But to be free. Seems childhood was the greatest times. No hell it seemed in those days.. Maybe not for everyone. I created my own world that only I can see. A world where no flaw will be talked about. A world where everybody is care and stress free. A paradise to the eye that seeks pleasure, pureness, and free mined. Hell is not being with one you truly love. Hurts not to wake up by there side. We live in hell. The only excape die or fall into a deep sleep. No matter how happy we may think we are we still live in hell..

Unspoken words

From the first day we met, I knew it was a dead mission. So why did we start talking? We where in for the same treat. We looked passed the flaws and built a relationship that only you and I knew about. You made me wait just as long as I made you wait. From the kisses and hugs; I grew to love you. I never told you. There are words still unspoken. We look pass words, just to look you in the eye and say I love you would be fine. I seen your car  last night in my town. I wanted to stay and wait to see you. My friend says its stalking. If i would have stayed the words unspoken I would have told you. To make you understand. Why I left. Why I didn't say good bye. Why my love for you was so deep. Why now I push away on coming guys. Why now seduction runs through my blood. Maybe I felt I loved you and you felt she's just another to me. I don't know for sure. Now, I have a loving man who cares deeply for me. I only find a way to mess it up or run him off. Only I don't want to hurt him. I love him as well. Its hard to love what you can't see. Hard to breath with out air. I have a fire that burns on and on. Burns that are not open. Scares that has your name. Cuts so deep they hit the bone. Now they are gone. Another man has taken them away. This man I will love. No words left unsaid. Said everyday. Since we part all I can think about is your face and what I seen in it. Why. Because my heart was not hard as iron as it is today. My heart beats slow for whom I feel is worth my time and energy.

what do you know

I see what you don't I know what you don't. In my mind is where you can find me . I dislike fakes. Haters only make them love me more. Otherwise there will be no hate no beef. i feed off that energy. I need you to hate me so I can use you for your energy. you try to make friends. I know what your up to. Kick rocks. I can do this. Make an gang(FAST$CASH) and watch it grow and grow. See the faces of whom may dislike or envy. I simply dont care. Hey leave a message at the gun shot..POW!!!

the game i kick in the ear

More then a women-More then a lover-Less of a bitch-not poor not rich-Less then a risk more like a take-No phony no fake-No games sure as my name is chardonnay-Open the wine, enjoy dinner-company  such as I-To be with you all night (extra, extra) read all about it-I'm sure you hard all about it-time to see your about this- Kick back relax-as I re-leave your stress-I give all or nothing(no sex)-Close out the  rest......For the moment  ^
      ( i don't show no interest)

In The Mind Of Chardonnay: Interdiction

In The Mind Of Chardonnay: Interdiction: "Day by day we find out more and more about people you thought you know. But by the time you see the real person its to late. There's nothing..."

Interdiction

Day by day we find out more and more about people you thought you know. But by the time you see the real person its to late. There's nothing you can do to change what happen, what things that hurt and what is felt. Feelings get the best of a broken soul. I learn to heel up and harden my wombs so others don't hurt me. I reflect a smile and laugh. As if you are nothing to me. I don't care about you if i did i would have told you(if not indirectly). I am so called a mean person with an anger problem. My looks vary deceiving. They tell me my eyes make me look sneaky, like I'm up to something. As my photo shows you I look innocent. me, Chardonnay, I am not sure where I stand in the art of seduction. Myself as a person will master the art and take pride in what I am doing(learning). I never take no for an answer, I keep pushing in my desires. Some times succeed and get stuck or do the wrong thing. But regardless I will conquer. I will start wars. I will have followers; even if they don't  I still stand solo. The ground I walk on will not keep me down. I rise above drama and could care less what one may think. For it's what I Chardonnay feel or think about my self. Insecurity is not a thought or feeling in my mind. Many say bad things; they don't know me or dislike me. Do i hear them? Do i hear there cry for drama? No i don't. Because no one will get the best of me with out the worst. I can't force anyone to like me or respect me. I will and already have earn my share. Strong in what i believe, weak in my desires. My target. My victim. Take it as you what it.