FAST$CASHent.

First video frm this site Ima make more and longer than 30 sec Untitled Project

New Year....New Me!!!

Well it's  friday the 13th , my day was some what bad but yu know how things lightn up... I let go of a lot of things... Things that could hold me back...People ..Friends...Lovers..I'm solo...This is my year...Lord knows how much I want it...Just gotta keep my ass in school for the next five months...Summer time and I gotta car best believe work is on my mind...Soon as I this car I'm goin hard.....In the mean time I'm goin hard for FAST$CASHent. I put my blood sweat and tears into my music just to let it be known...I put my all in the album covers and posters theres no stopn me now...Fuck a man I can do this along with my crew,myself, my own... sincerely, CTB fast$cashbitch

It Doesn't Even Matter

Nothing even matters. Not a breath worth air without you matters. The pass is the pass keep it a bay. Keep my heart for the lord may save me. Fault me not for I have sinned. Have love in vain. Witch brings me back to the lord to save me and of my name. Other have try'd to bring me down. I have not not broke before them but as seen by family. Anger brings a cool dark cloud above my head. Emotions are felt as thoughts fill the mind. Positive thoughts bring happy actions. Negative thoughts bring sadness more likely anger moods and actions. So if it's our thoughts that make our emotions then how do we love? How do we feel loved? If you love someone you more likely want them to be in your life regardless of how far or how ever messed up things get. Love is a bond to the soul of the one whom loves back. This bond can be broke but not if it means much more. More then a game more then the cut. More then life it self. Friends (to me) can't be trusted with nothing. I've learned that the hard way. I put my trust to someone who deceived me. Disturbed my home. Then tried to corrupt me for all i build myself to  be. Tell me why is it so hard to be true??? This earth runs with demons that have been here before our time...that another story for another day.

On My Mind

Why? Is the question I ask. who? Is it not me that's on your mind. How? Do you stay on my mind countless times a day?  Would I ever take you back? Yes, because my love for you runs deep. Are you saying you don't want me? Do you think about me at times? Did you call the next day after we broke up? Seeing is believing, but why can't I believe it? It's right in my face. I lost you to keep my pride. Head high I rather it be down with you by my side. I can tell you it was not a lie. I don't know rather to call you or leave it be. Tell me. Am I the one you want. Do you believe I'm going on a marry-go-round. I do. Protection is my goal. For you to understand why I do things. Do you get me mad, yes you do. One time you got mad and hated me after. Just about small things. Do I still love you? Yes, I do your heart lays in mine. Do I cry for you? Yes, I do miss you. Sometimes I'm mad, because you don't hold me or kiss me. Are we together? No, because you think to much and your thoughts get you out of line and weird. Why did I draw my gun? You hurt me. Never again will I fright fire with fire. Now what do I have? School. School. School. So you'll be seeing me riding B.I.G..   Do I still love you? Yes I do but it hurt to think of you every time I close my eyes I see you. My note book is filled with letters I want to give to you. But seems I can't. Your a man. You'll just throw them away. I'm not sure. I'm unsure. Not confused in any way. When I'm with you everything is a sure thing. I need to stop thinking of you. I can't sleep. Even when you were by my side I could not sleep. It's something about you that drives me road-rage. We don't have trust. We don't have a bond. So where is love coming from. If it isn't love then why do I feel this why? Why do you stay on my mind? If it isn't love why dose it hurt so bad? Make me feel so sad? This oh so true. He took my heart. No one will ever take it again. I can't describe this feeling I have for him.

Writers choice

This is what I do. Any and every thing I could top my last. No matter if it's a pen to a sheet of paper, my fingers on the key-bored, thoughts in my mine flow. From some places far from this earth, I discovered a great gift that only I can make better. I can put my dream to work; like a slave in the sun. No brakes no backing down. Writing is apart of my life as well as art. Make things people won't believe till they see. Write from my heart just so you will understand. I have many story's I want to share with the world. Many true some I seen in life. Some off the top of my mind. Some I see in my dreams at night. No matter what happens there will be an update. No matter how I'm feeling. You will feel it as you read. I have writers I love like Eric Drome Dicky, and so many more. But the books I read are exciting I cant wait to get to the next page. While I fell in love with writing my mine stared to shift and change into a new road. In witch I follow.

Beloved

Beloved signs shine through the shadows if the dark and shy..Windows open to new things...Open mine for nature deep breathing the fresh air...Bliss the mind as words spill from the saint's mouth. Truth dose not lie where the heart follows..The heart finds love with in it's self... Happiness from with in the soul...Power with in the mind....Joy with in the priceless passion witch spreads to the earth..... Sorrow a gift from the saint...dreadfulness in self pity.... Pettiness from the heathen that whats control.....Lies told to gang the beautiful heart....Dreams that longed to be fulfilled...Time never stops doesn't wait for you me or time it self.... Trouble that seeks a new victim...Eye's that only see flaws nothing more....Feelings that get the best of a broken soul....Minds think to much.....Weakness only to get stronger.....Minds over power...One more line....

Trapped In Hell

Hell is not nonstop pain or eating cactus's, with boiling water to wash it down. No hell is not below  this surface that we walk on. But we walk in hell. We live in hell. Some suffer some die. Some get so hooked to the demons creations that they lose track of life and chase what is desired. Hell is trapped in a basement with no water but the rain water from the floor. Neglect, trapped in a cage, no food to eat. Hot long days with no shade, flies eating at the skin and bones. Trouble that rumbles the night. Trapped in a cage with out a bathroom about to explode some thing nasty. Hell is this government, and what it calms to be. Hell is being slaved or used like consent energy. Hell brings out the best and worst. Freak shows that walk among the earth. Hate is so strong it can take over one mine.  Hell is when a guy thinks he loves a women; then thinks he owns her. Like property of a home he wants her to dress and act the way he wants her to. Slave in a kitchen and keep the house clean. If she may refuse there may be issues. Or hell can turn around and bite in the rear. She may lie and cheat to get him trapped with the seed he may or may not have planted. But to be free. Seems childhood was the greatest times. No hell it seemed in those days.. Maybe not for everyone. I created my own world that only I can see. A world where no flaw will be talked about. A world where everybody is care and stress free. A paradise to the eye that seeks pleasure, pureness, and free mined. Hell is not being with one you truly love. Hurts not to wake up by there side. We live in hell. The only excape die or fall into a deep sleep. No matter how happy we may think we are we still live in hell..